Staples And Duct Tape
You know, kinky never gets dull. There’s always somebody out there who can raise your eyebrows right up onto the top of your head. Here’s Teppycat on getting stapled:
There was also a demo of using a staple gun during play — not a medical stapler, not an office-supply type stapler; an electric goddamn staple gun from Home Depot. The presenters were a couple — top and bottom — who actually made getting stapled in the ass look fun. (Well, maybe not the ass.) They explained in detail all the safety stuff first — how to make sure that the staples and gun are exceedingly clean — clean enough to puncture human skin without running the risk of infection. And then they just started stapling. Well, first they put strips of duct tape (ouch, right???) on the areas where the staples were going to go — arms, legs, ass, stomach (yikes, ow, and no fucking way), and boobs (again I say, NO FUCKING WAY).
And then they started stapling. That staple gun has a lot of force, let me tell you. And yet, not all the staples made it “all the way in” (allegedly) so the top started pressing on them with his thumbs, and then (yikes!) punching some of them.
Really, it’s astonishing the kind of pain that people not only take, but *love.*
After the top was done stapling the bottom, and then removed all the staples, the top asked if we had any questions. He also asked, in a tone of voice that indicated that he didn’t expect anyone to say yes, if anyone wanted to get stapled.
And watching, it was clear how much force the staple gun has (hint: A LOT), but I still wondered what it felt like. You know, like maybe just one staple.
The road to hell, it turns out, is paved with “just one staple”. OK, not so much “hell” as “a sore arm”.
Having been on both ends of a staple gun (for a sideshow gig, not a kink), I have to say that the pain…is surprisingly nonexistent. I imagine getting them pushed or punched in would hurt a lot more…but they go in so quickly, and so smoothly, that it doesn’t feel even as bad as getting a shot from a professional nurse, and when they come out, they itch.
And bleed, if you hit just the right spot.
And itch and bleed and ITCH AND BLEED and there’s not a damn thing you can do about either one. But it’s a good way to get money – you offer the crowd the opportunity to staple a buck to your arm, a fiver to your shoulder blades, a ten to your thighs or bum, or a twenty to your forehead…and make sure there’s someone you trust standing by, in case they don’t understand that ‘forehead’ doesn’t mean ‘eyelid’. Walk offstage, collect $500 in slightly bloody money, cover self in bactine…it’s a living.
Well, I guess it beats getting shot out of a cannon?