Bondage Blog

This has got to be the most awesomest Craigslist resume posting ever: Please discipline codegirl and make her code very difficult AJAX. Three of seven paragraphs:

I don’t want to be a girl dropped into the coding pit to be awed and then broken by Senior PHP engineers wielding grim and terrible caching weapons. Rails engineers by the thousands marching, marching against everyone, on every border while I draw well water shot through with ponderings of the scalability issues with PHP, and how for form to exist in our physical universe it must be have a name. If matter or a form cannot be named, it cannot exist.

I don’t want to fight sexy ATG boys about AJAX performance within droplets, I don’t want to bicker in the morning concerning why JQuery is the proper and correct framework, all the time everytime. It’s ok. I love you guys. I do. I worship you Warcraft playing, contract working, hordes of luscious web men. I know what you love. I want to be there for you.

I will code the HTML you don’t want to. It’s ok. I don’t mind. I like it. I will code it handcuffed if you want. It’s ok. If I’m too slow, or if you check and my adhering to standards is inappropriate or my fumbling, adolescent understanding of the finer point of JSON infuriate you, you can tear my stockings. They were expensive, and I bought them for work. They were my only pair. I am a humble code girl.

The vast Bondage Blog empire could really use a handcuffed HTML minion, oh yes it could. We could even provide discipline. Sadly, we can’t afford a minion of such quality. We shall have to pine, in jealousy of whatever Bay Area coding shop gets her. Kink.com, are you listening?

Thanks to Violet Blue for the link and for the full mirror — which you may need if Craigslist decides this is just too much fun for any one resume to have.