Bondage Blog

Clarisse Thorn writes:

I occasionally come across people who ask me how they can get their partners to do BDSM without talking about it directly. While I appreciate and sympathize with both their need to do BDSM, and their anxiety about talking about it — I just can’t get behind the premise of the question. The fantasy of a sexual relationship that is totally instinctive and perfect without any effort is just that — a fantasy. And moreover, while you might be able to get some BDSM experiences without actually having a conversation about BDSM, direct sexual communication is not a threat to your sexual experiences — it can improve them.

Easy to say, not always so easy to do. What makes the blog post this comes from great, though, is that you just read one of the concluding paragraphs. The meat of the post is several case studies, examples from her own life of how to do BDSM sexual communication with new partners. Lots of useful information there on how to have those potentially awkward conversations.