Are Blowjobs Inherently Submissive?
I dispute the idea that anything in sexuality or kink is inherently anything else. But I am nonetheless amused to reproduce this paragraph from a blowjob guide recently appearing at ErosBlog:
A blowjob in progress in inherently submissive. It’s rare, outside of shitty porn, that a woman takes control by sucking a man’s dick. If you are a truly submissive woman, use these ideas to further your devotion to your dominant. If you aren’t submissive, there’s no reason you can’t enjoy providing incredible pleasure to a man and after doing so, it should be incredibly easy to see how the power dynamics of the relationship suddenly swing in your direction. Between your lips lies the power to worship, break up marriages, drain bank accounts or simply debase yourself to for someone else’s happiness. Use your powers wisely.
What the writer gets right, in my opinion, is that blowjobs are frequently about power. Power to give, power to withhold, power to demand, power to take, power to bite or not get bitten, power over relationship dynamics, power over people not in the room, power over people not willing to suck that dick. Often (especially in a committed loving relationship) the effects are quite subtle. But absent? Only rarely.
Elsewhere on Bondage Blog:
It also depends on trust by the man. The woman can do a lot more than “worship, break up marriages, drain bank accounts or simply debase yourself” if she decides to.